ssues & ideas EDITOR ALI CRANE THE VOICE, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2014 7 Clash of the cultures: love & sex Comparing different cultural views on sex and relationship issues around the world LGBT culture in ethnic minorities The gay community is an open one here in Vancouver, but in other cultures some struggle with coming out By CHARLOTTE DREWETT thnic minorities face more chal- lenges being LGBTQ and coming out to their family due to cultural values, said one Vancouver psy- chologist. “Tt’s not that [eth- nic minorities] don’t want to come out, it’s that they have more barriers to come out,” said Wal- lace Wong, a clinical psychologist | who specializes in sexual BEN FRIESEN minority and sexual sexual and health of students gender diversity and youth. advisor Wong said each culture carries it’s own challenges for LGBTQ people and from his perspective in the Asian com- munity individualism is not “cher- ished.” “When you take on the identity as a gay, lesbian, transgender or queer, there’s a lot of time that [some in the Asian community] would think that you are disturbing the harmony of the sys- tem as a whole,” Wong said. The availability of positive informa- tion surrounding the LGBTQ communi- ty in Western culture shows that it is more accepting, said Wong. He said there is less information available that targets ethnic minorities, and this further stigmatizes the LGBTQ people in ethnic cultures. Otto Chan, a 21-year-old gay Asian man and former Langara College stu- dent, said from what he’s seen in the Asian community, gay people don’t come out to their parents out of fear of shame or punishment. “Discipline is a very big thing in the Asian community, if you misbehave you're punished by your parents,” Chan said, adding that being gay can be viewed as being imperfect and Asian parents “want you to be perfect.” Chan said coming out to someone re- quires a strong relationship and Asian families don’t ask about each other’s feelings the way Western culture fami- lies do. “T feel like because a lot of Asian fami- lies have these really fragmented rela- tionships that there’s just no way for that bridge to be crossed,” Chan said. Ben Friesen, sexual and gender diver- sity advisor with C C the Langara Stu- It’s not dents’ Union, said each individuals ex- that [eth- nic minori- perience with com- ing out is unique to ties] don’t their situation. Both Chan and Friesen spoke of the negative stereotype Want to that comes with be- come out, ing gay and how ,,, this affected their lUt’s that family’s initial ac- they have ceptance of their sexual identity. more bar- “Its definitely piers to based on your rela- tionship with your COMe out family and your par- WALLACE WONG ents and how liberal your parents are or if your family ob- serves any religions,” Friesen said. According to Friesen there is no “standard reaction that people go through when they come out.” Each person in the LGBTQ communi- ty has their own experience coming out to their friends and family, and not one case will be the same. CHARLOTTE DREWETT photo Otto Chan struggled with coming out to his family. KERA SKOCYLAS photo Jack Oakley (plaid shirt) said he uses social media to talk to girls. He said he’s seen catcalling on Granville Street but never on campus. A recent video of a woman walking through New York and getting catcalled went viral and sparked outrage By KERA SKOCYLAS greatly between cultures and while some women may not be offended, one expert said it is harassment. Videos from around the world have been posted to social media showcasing cultural differences in catcalling after the video of the woman in New York be- ing catcalled over 100 times during one day went viral. While some women may not be of- fended by catcalling, UBC instructor Carellin Brooks, who has a background in women’s and gender studies, said it is a measure of male control over women. “The message of catcalling tells women their only function is to be a sexualized object that a man is free to Ts acceptance of catcalling varies comment on,” she said. Brooks, who lived in New York City, said she could relate to the viral video. “There was not a day that went by that I didn’t get tons and tons of com- ments,” she said. Comments such as “Hey baby!” or “Youre so hot!” were yelled at her on a daily basis she said. “It was relent- less, it was con- stant, and unremit- ting,” Brooks said. “Tt made it a very hostile environ- “ACK OAKLEY ment to walk L4@ngara general through.” arts student Brooks also said that in some cultures men grow up wit- nessing catcalling and don’t know any better, so they think it’s acceptable. “The mentality is that everybody’s doing it, so it must be okay,” she said. Brooks said she would confront men about their behaviour, but they wouldn’t see it as aggressive. “What’s the big deal?” was a common response, she said. Brooks said Vancouver has a very dif- ferent street culture. “T can count on one hand the times I’ve been addressed by strange men,” she said, “it’s usually very respectful.” Jack Oakley, general arts Langara student, said he and his friends don’t usually catcall women. “Tf ’m under the influence on Gran- ville Street maybe I will call out or whis- tle at a girl,” he said. His classmate, Jordan Moss, general arts student, said “If the girls are under the influence as well, sometimes it works and they come talk to us.” Hasan Malek, a Langara Muslim Stu- dent Association member said Muslims do not have this issue. “Men are taught to lower their gaze and not stare at girls,” Malek said. “If people are brought up not to call out to women like than then it’s not go- ing to happen,” he said, “and this is not just for Muslims, it’s for everyone.” 66 Tecan count on one hand the times I’ve been ad- dressed by strange men. It’s usually very respectful CARELLIN BROOKS Pre-arranged does not mean forced Arranged marriages are the norm for some cultures but can be misunderstood By SHANNON LYNCH that in arranged marriages there is no choice, but this is a common mis- conception according to Parin Dossa, professor of anthropology at SFU. “Arranged marriage is complex,” said Dossa in an email. “While it is be- lieved that women are at the mercy of their kin/parents, this is not always the case.” “Families may do the initial intro- duction and then leave it to the woman or man to decide. Alternatively, a cou- ple may meet independently and then seek permission of the family,” she said. “Under congenial circumstances, women and also men have a say as to whether they wish to tie the knot,” she said. From an Islamic perspective, Ismael Hamadi of Langara’s Muslim Student Association said that a marriage where the parents are involved in any way could be considered “arranged.” It’s not always just the parents deciding. “You might find this girl you like, then you tell your parents, then they’re the people who go and talk to her fam- ily. That means it’s arranged,” said Hamadi. Hamadi said that arranged marriage is often misrepresented because many people think parents solely choose strangers for their children to marry when that is not always the case. | tis often thought in Western culture